Asking to snoop?
Is it wrong for your partner to deny you access to their phone?
Nino says: Ask yourself...
What is the reason for invading their privacy? Can that reason be voiced and discussed to work towards progress in the relationship?
I don't know if we can feel entitled to that. We just gotta hope that they're being real with us BUT I do think it's better to just voice the reason that makes you want to go through your partners' phone, instead of actually doing it.
Shit be fucked up...yes, but it's up to you to discern who is worth dealing with it and who is going to work on fixing it with you. That's the main thing.
I would fstow, definitely, but I'd have to understand first why my partner is saying "no", because it could simply be that he is offended that I don't trust him. That could hurt him. I've learned that you've just gotta say what's on your mind and how it affects you. Plainly. Without placing blame or insinuating. Just talk about yourself.
It could be beneficial to say, "hey, I'm a person that needs reassurance, not knowing what type of conversations you have on the phone really gets to me and makes me doubtful" or "not having reassurance scares me, it pushes me away. It makes me feel like inappropriate conversations could be taking place because I can't gauge how deep your involvement with me is." You can even say, "I haven't felt like talking because I'm fstow."
I always say "I feel", to put everything in first person so that they can empathize and understand where I'm coming from.
...BUT REMEMBER, you still might not get that shit and will you be able to handle that? Will you be able to deal with what you do find if you do get it?